Monday, November 24, 2008

Holding Me

I don't understand how someone with the mad art skillz to draw a fairly lifelike depiction of a girl hasn't yet mastered simple two-point perspective. Is it a deliberate, sort of ironic play on the title? Because it sure looks like she's about to slide off the cover. It reminds me of the old Batman TV series with all of those skewed camera angles.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Road to Depression

Forget about the insanely creepy eyes of the kid - we've all seen them on these covers. What I'm curious about is the time period being depicted here. The kids look like they shop at Old Navy. One's in a denim jacket, the other in a hoodie. Then why is a Model -T school bus on the road? Is it en route to a classic car show?  Or did these two teens stumble through a time portal and are now bracing themselves for the fiscal chill of the Great Depression? I don't know. My guess is that there was a failure of communication between the publisher and the artist. The artist was told the book was about depression (i.e. a young adult novel) and misconstrued this to mean the depression.

And don't get me started on the author's name.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Just Say No!

With autumn blowing in and the leaves turning, falling and being raked into big crunchy piles I thought I'd post a leafcentric seasonal cover. However, after regarding the smiley foursome (who apparently don't mind invading each other's personal circles of space), I've come to the conclusion that this book is not about oak leaves or elm leaves but of another kind of leaf entirely. Yes children, getting high on maryjane may leave you grinning from ear to ear, but a more insidious side effect is the inability to just say no to the self-tanner

Note to Jean Ure: Now this is the book you should have written!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Beach Boy Baby Snatcher

I must've missed the very special Hallmark Hall of Fame adaptation of this gripping YA novel, starring Brian Wilson (hey, he had bills to pay) and the irrepressibly zany Mayim Bialik as two crazy canoe instructors leading double lives as baby snatchers! Yup, must've missed that one. Check out the load in that little guy's pants! No, I meant Brian's. Yes, children, back in the early 80's grown men paraded around in  short-shorts without any hint of embarrassment.  
I think I will be sick now. 

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The bitch is back!

The summer of Sassy Jo was filled with hour-long segments of ham-handed dialogue, implausible plots, extreme melodrama and exorbitant applications of hair mousse. By the end of that summer, Sassy Jo had become 

Thursday, November 6, 2008


I always thought there was but one kind of silence. You know, the kind when there isn't any noise. But after giving it some (silent) thought, I realize that there are several kinds of silence. There are moments of silence, vows of silence, the right to remain silent, the deafening silence one hears in oxymoronville, the cone of silence and of course, the silence of the lambs. There's also the kind of silence that surrounds oneself while wearing awesome                                                             slouch socks!

ps -  Hope Won!!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Don't Drink and Drive, Kids

Mare Winningham is perturbed because her trivial pursuit game is being held up by...dun-dun-dunnnn...teenage drinking! I know I saw this as an ABC afterschool special. Michelle Pfieffer played Mare's friend and the dumb lug was played by Val Kilmer. I don't remember much (hey, I was probably chugging down Wild Turkey at the time) except that Val gets really wasted and plows his Pinto into Mare. His automobile, you dirty dogs. I loved those afterschool specials. They served up all the shocking teen issues of the day with a sickening side of cheezwhiz and ham. But enough of that, check out Mare's awesome slouch socks - those were the bomb, yo! Kinda like the Uggs of my era. Only not as ugly.