Crank Dat!

Jan Michael Vincent, fresh from his hugely popular stint flying helicopters for our viewing pleasure, takes on his most challenging role yet. Soldier Boy is the emotionally-charged tale of a courageous young private with a serious case of the sads. On leave for a few days, his heart is shat upon and shattered when his girlfriend (played by the beautiful Lea Thompson) confesses that she is smitten with an inamorato of a different feather. But all's well in the end when our hero, stationed in the Antarctic, finds a chance for acceptance and happiness with his own web-footed friends.

Green Eggs and WHAM!

Turtles have a leisurely, gentle way about them. They're slow and steady and don't partake in any seaside drama. But just try to mess with their eggs! 

These are some of the last known photos taken of one C. Sheldon Smith during a school field trip to the shore. Repeatedly told by his teacher "not to disturb the eggs; to look, don't touch; and to get your grimy hands off the goddamn eggs, how many times do I have to tell you, you freakish little moron," Sheldon squatted down, scooped up a cache of freshly laid leathery orbs, and in so doing, incurred the mighty wrath of mama turtle. 

May the following snapshot, taken moments before the horrible deaths of Sheldon and his classmates (and the surrounding townsfolk) serve as a warning to us all.

9021...NO!

David Silver has ditched his dreams of hip-hop glory to run away with an unlikely paramour. With her shoulder to lean on, he travels the globe to more highly elevated and barren zip codes to escape the face that haunts his (and humanity's) nightmares.  

But there is 

no 

escape.

This post is a shout-out to my old buddy Katmass and the many nights we spent boozing in The Peach Pit.

It's just a jump to the left...

There's an image so frightening here that shakes me to the core and turns my insides into pudding just thinking about it. No, it's not the thought of traveling through time and meeting one's older, cross-dressing self as this young man has done. That would be awesome. Look above that. See the girl falling through space? Egads! I can't think of anything more spectacularly frightening than to be precariously perched, not being 

able to hang on, to lose one's slippery                                 hold .......... and then drop. 

Why yes, I am hyperventilating at the moment. So on a lighter note (and in keeping with the fun cross-dressing timewarpin' stuff) for all my friends who spent many a midnight at Uniondale's minicinema back in the day...Let's do the time warp again!

 

Lucy in the Psi with Diamonds

It took an inspired artist to draw this mind-blowing trippiness and two authors to pen it and still I have no idea what it's about (and this is after reading the jacket blurb) except to learn that someone is the prisoner of their own psychic powers. Is it the haloed dude with the expanding psinuses? Or perhaps Admiral Adama there on the left disguised as Chief Needsmoisturizer. Could it be the boyish girl with emerald eyes on the right? The dapper trio in the corner? Or is it the two-headed biker? (I know, I know - it just looks like a two-headed biker, but any excuse to link to a Ray Milland pic is one I'm taking) That leaves our central figure. Hmmmm, the only thing he's a prisoner of would be snazzy biker fashion...and I guess psilocybin. Feed your head with YA fiction, kids!