Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Public Service Announcement

Listen up, girls. Beware of clean cut young men who approach you outside of school propped up by a crutch. That short crutch is a dead giveaway that his handicap is purely fauxsical. One word springs to mind - BUNDY! NO, not that one - this one! Sure, he'll sweet talk you and compliment your fine, aesthetic taste in plaid and your exceptionally beautiful tang-colored hair, but I say kick that crutch out from under him and knock his teeth out. Sure, he'll pretend that he can't get up because of his "handicap." Stomp on his balls until he screams for mercy, then shove that Trapper Keeper in his mouth - that'll keep his serial-killing trap shut!  Uh-oh, the principal's coming. What's that you say, Mr. Jackson? He's a transfer student from Jersey? And he lost his leg in an escalator accident? bad.


Robot Nine said...

Man, Al Bundy through me for a loop... wasn't expecting that. That poor girl is so ridgidly upright I think she is experiencing sympathy stiffness!

It's funny before I even read your commentery, the cover made me think of Bundy. 'A Stranger Beside Me' by Ann Rule stuck with me all these years.

Laura R said...

I'm all in favor of non-gender-specific clothing, but that is most definitely a GIRL'S sweater.

Captcha: speadup
...what you need to do if you're going too slow!