We are alarmed and outraged at your recent television commercial in which you thoughtlessly hawk your wares at the expense of a noble creature's dignity, one no less imprisoned! Where will it stop? Does anyone know?
Please accept our apology. We have seen the error of our ways and will strive to show more compassion in our advertising campaigns. As a result, we have decided to employ an angelic moppet who will sit cross-legged atop our latest model of fine luggage and test its strength and durability by regaling you with a popular ditty.
CEO of American Tourister
Please bring back the ape.
American Tourister Model Suitcase #523