Edited three hours ago to add:
Um, I'm a bit embarrassed right now and wouldn't blame my readers if they left me at this point. You see, it was just
revealed to me that the night guard was not freaking out over stolen art. Yes, a painting was there, but it's out on loan to a museum in Springfield. What led to our hero's apoplectic fit was the aesthetically discordant font floating above his head. Damn right it's awful - I say give this man a raise!