Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Dude, Chill!

Someone's been sleeping *coughguardcough* on the job. Yeah, loser, we all see the empty expanse in the Dutch Masters room, but who exactly are you shouting at? You're the night guard, bozo! No one else is there to hear your urgent shouts or witness your manic gesturing. Even Jan Van Jauntyhatten is sneering at your pathetic display. So turn your incredibly boxy flashlight off, calm the hell down and call the real authorities.

Edited three hours ago to add:
Um, I'm a bit embarrassed right now and wouldn't blame my readers if they left me at this point. You see, it was just
revealed to me that the night guard was not freaking out over stolen art. Yes, a painting was there, but it's out on loan to a museum in Springfield. What led to our hero's apoplectic fit was the aesthetically discordant font floating above his head. Damn right it's awful - I say give this man a raise!

1 comment:

Spin the Moon said...

The number on his shoulder indicates he's guard #13. How horribly unlucky for him. If he'd just been hired a bit sooner, he might be #7 and would've luckily caught the thieves in the act. Possibly on his way to the restroom or vending machines.